Beginnings: When a Daughter is Given Marriage (Guest Blog by Mary Wilson)

Mary is devoted Christian who desires to daily walk a life that brings glory to her risen Savior.  She is wife to Jeff and mother of two adult daughters, Emily and Katie.  She currently works full-time as an interior designer. She has spent many years serving in youth ministry as well as women’s ministries in the church fellowships where she has served.  Having a heart for teaching, she has enjoyed the positions she has held. She has participated in several mission trips, three of which that has taken her overseas.  She can be reached thru her blog, elegantbutsimple.wordpress.com. 

My youngest daughter Katie  married last month.  She was the first in our immediate family and the first wedding on either side of our family in 22 years.  We had not experienced the planning, preparation, and detailed work that went with a wedding.  Nor the joy and emotion surrounding the giving and taking of a bride.

For my husband Jeff and I, the prayers through her growing years had been answered.  She married a young man, Tyler, whom we love as our own, and on some days I would tell friends that I love him more than my own children.  He is a Christian, devoted to his faith and heading toward a life in the pastorate.  He is tall, a Texan who stands strong in his beliefs and a man that will care for and love our baby through their married years of life.  All sound reasoning,  in my head. But this season’s passing also started a beginning of a struggle in my own heart.

 In Genesis 2:24 it is written:

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.  (Genesis 2:24 ESV)

And the two shall become one flesh.   Katie is no longer responsible to the family she grew up in but now will submit to her husband and tend to the affairs of her household.  All the days of preparation really don’t prepare this young bride, nor her family, for the transition that will take place.  In the passing of time, as she comes and goes from her new home and a new routine begins, so does a new life together.  Although still a part of our family, I now had to recognize that my job as her mom was to love and support them, holding them closely to my heart as I lift them in consistent prayer and be there for counsel.  Her new beginning in some respects, however, also marked an ending to an old way of life.

As much as I considered it an ending, I also recognized this is God’s design.  And as a wife and a mother, I know that through the years of raising our girls, my job as a Christian was to model for them what they were to become.  My job, as I had always known it, was ending.  Her job was just beginning.  Tears never really flowed for me as she walked down the aisle to her future, because my heart was at peace.

In this life change, I also recognized there was a beginning for me as well.

In the days before her wedding, I reflected on what scripture teaches concerning the model of the older women teaching and training the younger women.  We read in Titus that:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. (Titus 2:3-5 ESV)

As her mother, my job is different now.  As much as I know Katie’s adjustment to married life will be smoother with the loving support of her family, my place in her life has become that of a teacher/trainer.  I never feel that God really calls us to an end.  As one of my loving pastors taught me , “When God closes a door, He always opens a window.” 

What I have learned is that we both are experiencing a beginning.  I do not see her every day.  My role is not a day-to-day responsibility as before, but my encouragement will be more important than ever. As her counsel, teacher and trainer, my job is to point her to her God-given job of supporting and loving the man she has married, encouraging her to be self-controlled, pure, kind and submissive.  She now walks alongside me in this role. I am further along than her, but both of us have the same responsibility.  She has now become closer to me with this new beginning in understanding.  The ending to this story? I have been transformed by God’s peace  to fulfill a new job description, one that only He can do.

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